Its been very hard trying to concentrate at work lately. I'm in the midst of terminating my resignation and with they way things are at home, everyone has been pressuring me to throw in the towel asap. I admit that I am quite bitter about giving up a profession that has given me so much purpose in life, but I really cannot deny that my passion is wearing thin and with whatever I am getting as a salary really just isn't enough to sustain my household expenses.
Without the probability of furthering my studies in the next 2-4 years since we are planning for no.2 the only way I can get a much more comfortable pay with my diploma is to rejoin the private sector or to help out in the family business.
With that aside, recently the helper has given up on helping us for 3 working days a week and has returned to my parents. Which means that Damien has to be left in the care of my parents in Hougang on weekdays as it will be too taxing on him and us ferrying him to and fro daily since we usually knock off at 6.
This week was the first time we have tried this arrangement and just after 1.5 days, on Tuesday morning my mum smsed me to say that damien was running a temperature. 3 hours later she called to say its getting higher even with the medication and I had to leave work and bolt down.
Just last week Damien had a very bad allergic reaction to Pampers. It was a packet my mother bought on discount and had Vietnamese words on it. The texture was like oil-blotter paper, a kind of satin finish plastic and I blame myself for allowing him to try it on even though I had doubts the moment I laid hands on that hideous product. His buttocks were raging red and when I came home from work he whimpered and cried for me (which never happens) and kept gesturing to his diaper. Thank goodness I intervened in time and he recovered in 2 days. But that meant I had to take childcare leave.
So on Wed and today I am on childcare leave again. It's strange that all the doctors can say is that it is a bout of viral infection. We blew over $100 on a specialist because it was the only one open in the vicinity and my mother swore by that paed... I would have spent only a fraction of that amount if we were anywhere near his usual paed in Jurong. I used his existing paracetamol that I brought down with me from home and spent the whole night coaxing and forcing him his medication and wetting him again and again with sponge baths of lukewarm water... It was a nightmare seeing him refuse food again and being so clingy. Thank goodness he managed to at least drink milk which made me worry less... I really didn't want another dehydration episode.
So here ends that strange fever tale. His fever is gone and he has no other symptoms with the exception of a slight cough and it really makes me wonder what on earth caused it. My greatest fear is dengue since he is always covered in mosquito bites when he is in hougang until I made so much noise and bought bottles of J&J deet solution to slather him in and swore I will check the levels in the bottle to ensure that its being used.
I can't wait to leave my job because really, not that I am picky but I think developmentally for the baby and for the sake of melvin and my own sanity, I have to make sacrifices for this family.
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